Finding Safe Spaces in a Noisy World: What Real Healing Communities Look Like

Community. It’s a word that can conjure up images of warmth, connection, and support. But not all communities are created equal. In the world of trauma and addiction, the very spaces where healing should be at the heart, I have seen a difficult truth: not every community is safe. Not every circle of professionals is kind. And sometimes, even those who claim to be healers can become competitors, judges, or simply unkind.

This isn’t a criticism. It’s an observation. It’s a recognition that even those of us who work in healing can sometimes bring our own unhealed wounds. And without awareness, those wounds can create environments that are anything but healing.



We are told that healing communities, whether it’s a therapy network, a training group, or an online support space, are meant to be places of refuge. But sometimes, the very spaces that promise healing can become a source of harm.

Judgment instead of Understanding: People who criticise rather than listen, who compete rather than collaborate.

Unprocessed Trauma Showing Up as Projection: Those who bring their own wounds and triggers but take them out on others rather than owning them.

Performative Vulnerability: Where sharing becomes a show, a performance of “healing” rather than an honest, messy, and authentic process.

Hierarchies and Ego: Those who position themselves as “experts” or “gurus,” forgetting that true healing is about humility, not superiority.

And I’ll be honest, I have felt the sting of these spaces. Even as I’ve become more well-known, or perhaps because of it, I have found myself walking away from rooms, gatherings, and groups that claim to be about healing but feel anything but.



I am not perfect, not by any stretch. I have had my own moments of being stressed, overwhelmed, or even irritable. I have experienced ruptures with people I care about. But there is one truth I hold onto: I always seek to repair.

I go back. I take responsibility. I apologise. I try to mend the tear, to make things right. Because in my world, healing is not about never making mistakes, it is about owning them and seeking repair.

But here’s what I have seen time and again: In our profession, in trauma and addiction, there are many who cannot or will not repair. Instead of reaching out, they withdraw. Instead of taking responsibility, they blame. And instead of seeing our shared humanity, they shut down.



So, what does a truly safe community look like? What does it mean to create spaces where healing can genuinely happen?

Non-Competitive Energy: People genuinely celebrate each other’s success rather than feeling threatened by it.

Emotional Maturity: Those who can own their own triggers, process their own emotions, and not project them onto others.

Depth and Humility: People who know that healing is not a performance, it is a lifelong journey.

Respect for Boundaries: A space where “no” is honoured, where people’s energy is valued, and where no one is forced to share beyond their comfort.

The Courage to Repair: A community where apologies are given freely, where people know that a rupture does not have to be the end, it can be the beginning of deeper understanding.



As I’ve grown in this field, I’ve become fiercely protective of the spaces I create, whether it is The Voyage Experience, my online community, or even the circles of trusted friends I keep. I have walked away from spaces that feel unsafe, no matter how “established” or “respected” they appear to be.

Because I know that in a world full of noise, ego, and emotional chaos, safe, nourishing community is not just a luxury, it is a necessity.



If you are reading this and feeling the sting of unsafe spaces, whether as a clinician, coach, or someone seeking healing, please know this: You do not have to stay where you are not safe. You do not have to force yourself to fit into circles that judge, compete, or dismiss.

You have the right to seek out spaces that nourish you. Or to create your own. To find people who elevate you, who see you, and who know how to repair when things go wrong.

True community is not perfect. It is not free from ruptures or mistakes. But it is a space where love, humility, and healing always have the final word.


With love,
Lou